TT – Có một câu ngạn ngữ phương Tây đại ý: Đối với cha mẹ, con cái là tất cả. Nhưng với con cái, cha mẹ chỉ là chiếc cầu nhảy đưa chúng vào tương lai.
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| Người mẹ nào cũng muốn được gần gũi con cháu, nhất là ở tuổi xế chiều (ảnh minh họa) – Ảnh: Keng |
Có lẽ vì thế người phương Tây ít đặt nặng chữ hiếu của con cái vào tuổi già cha mẹ, để cùng tư duy xây dựng hệ thống an sinh xã hội ngày càng tốt hơn. Còn ở những nước Á Đông, vốn trọng tình cảm và các mối quan hệ huyết thống, đạo hiếu trở thành một nền tảng để đánh giá nhân cách con người. Nhưng trong sự giao thoa giữa các nền văn hóa và lan truyền lối sống hiện đại, chữ hiếu của những người con Việt Nam ít nhiều thay đổi.
Báo hiếu từ xa
Nhiều công dân hiện đại đều nằm lòng khái niệm “thế giới phẳng”, bất cứ ai cũng có thể học từ xa, yêu từ xa… và để giản đơn trách nhiệm, nghĩa vụ làm con, họ phát huy báo hiếu từ xa. Điều này không chỉ đúng với những người con thật sự ở xa cha mẹ về địa lý, mà xảy ra với nhiều gia đình dư thừa điều kiện sống quần tụ bên nhau.
Vợ chồng anh Trung (33 tuổi, TP.HCM) mới cưới nhau vài tháng đã kiên quyết dọn ra riêng dù phải đi thuê nhà. Lý do được anh Trung tiết lộ như sau: “Cha mẹ tôi gốc Bắc, còn vợ là người Nam, tôi rất sợ xảy ra mâu thuẫn giữa mẹ chồng nàng dâu vì khác biệt văn hóa. Thêm nữa sự xung đột thế hệ là không tránh khỏi, để dĩ hòa vi quý thì mình cứ ở xa một tí cho an toàn. Vả lại cùng ở trong thành phố, chạy về thăm ông bà cụ lúc nào chẳng được”.
Trên mái tóc bạc trắng của rất nhiều cha mẹ già ở quê giờ đây không chỉ phủ bụi thời gian mà còn vương đầy nỗi nhớ những đứa con nơi thành thị lâu ngày không gặp mặt. Hằng tháng vẫn nhận tiền các con gửi về, lâu lâu con cái điện thoại thăm nom sức khỏe, ngoài ra cuộc sống neo đơn của cha mẹ già chẳng cải thiện là bao.
Bà Phẩm (72 tuổi) ở một làng quê thuộc tỉnh Thái Bình kể về đường con cái của mình: “Tôi sinh bốn trai hai gái, giờ các anh chị ấy đều phương trưởng ở thủ đô hết rồi. Mỗi tháng các anh chị ấy thay phiên nhau gửi về cho tôi nhiều tiền lắm, nhưng mình ở quê có ăn tiêu gì đâu. Ông nhà mất đã chục năm nay, tôi sống một mình, chỉ mong có con cháu quây quần bên cạnh. Mỗi năm các anh chị ấy tụ tập về thăm một lần. Ấy vậy vẫn sướng hơn ối người đấy!”.
Nghĩ xa hơn, đời người ai cũng trải qua vòng sinh – lão – bệnh rồi cuối cùng nhắm mắt xuôi tay, nhưng điều băn khoăn nhất của nhiều bậc cha mẹ cao niên là trước khi mình trút hơi thở cuối cùng, những đứa con ly tán từ lâu liệu có kịp tụ về để nhìn mặt lần cuối?
Hai sắc hoa hồng
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“Những ai còn đủ cha mẹ thật hạnh phúc. Trong bao nhiêu năm qua, điều đáng tiếc nhất đối với tôi là mẹ không còn trên cõi đời này để có thể báo hiếu”. |
Mỗi mùa Vu lan đến, chị Thu (41 tuổi, Đà Lạt, Lâm Đồng) lại cài lên áo một đóa hồng trắng và đến chùa cầu kinh tưởng nhớ mẹ. Mẹ chị mất 20 năm rồi mà ký ức về những ngày mẹ con hạnh phúc bên nhau chưa bao giờ phai mờ. Bởi khi có gia đình, sinh con chị mới thấu hiểu những nhọc nhằn mẹ đã trải qua để chăm lo cho cuộc sống tràn niềm vui thuở hoa niên của chị. Những lúc khủng hoảng tâm lý, chị chỉ biết khóc thầm gọi mẹ và rồi cũng nhờ những hình ảnh nghị lực của mẹ giúp chị vượt qua được mọi khó khăn.
Trong lòng chị, mẹ luôn là chỗ dựa tinh thần vững chắc nhất. Chị Thu chia sẻ: “Những ai còn đủ cha mẹ thật hạnh phúc. Trong bao nhiêu năm qua, điều đáng tiếc nhất đối với tôi là mẹ không còn trên cõi đời này để có thể báo hiếu”.
Có bao nhiêu người con cài hoa hồng trắng trên ngực trong lễ Vu lan, hẳn có bấy nhiêu nỗi hoài niệm lớn lao về cha mẹ đã khuất của mình. Những thương nhớ đó theo năm tháng không tàn phai mà vẫn tinh khôi như màu hoa trắng gợi bao mất mát, tiếc nuối trong cuộc đời. Vậy mà không ít người con hoa còn thắm sắc đỏ trong cuộc đời lại không biết trân quý đấng sinh thành…
THỦY THƯƠNG
Thấu lòng mẹ chaTôi là một cô gái bướng bỉnh, khó bảo, sống khá táo bạo như để “trả thù” bố mẹ mình. Bởi họ nói vì tôi nên mới đến với nhau, hai người sống với nhau mà ai cũng có nơi chốn riêng của mình ở ngoài. Nhiều lúc tôi ước mình chẳng có trên đời để bố mẹ tôi không hối hận vì có tôi, để tôi không phải là lý do của những cuộc cãi vã trong gia đình, để bố tôi khỏi chì chiết mẹ mỗi lần say xỉn… Đã hơn một lần tôi tự vẫn nhưng không thành. Một ngày, theo chân người bạn lên chùa. Ba ngày ở chùa là ba ngày tôi gần như sống thật với chính mình, tìm về suối nguồn yêu thương… Hằng ngày tôi dậy sớm, quét cửa chùa, chặt củi, nghe tiếng gõ mõ… và sám hối. Bữa tối ngày cuối cùng tôi được sư cô trụ trì trong chùa nói về đạo làm người, nhất là phận con trong bài “Kinh báo hiếu” – Phận làm con phải hiếu nghĩa, bởi công ơn cha mẹ biển trời chẳng thấu… Tôi đã khóc, khóc vì những lỗi lầm, thấy bất kính khi để nước mắt mẹ vẫn chảy hằng đêm lúc mình đi chơi thâu đêm, để bố trầm ngâm đốt thuốc tới sáng đợi cửa… Tôi từng xem đó là một cách đấu tranh để bố mẹ phải nhún nhường, thấy có lỗi vì những gì đã để lại trong lòng con trẻ là tôi… Tôi không cần quan tâm hay để ý những việc của hai người từ bao năm nay dành cho tôi, rõ là bố mẹ tôi đã rất đau khổ khi con mình trở nên ngỗ ngược như vậy… Tôi rời chùa trở về lòng nhẹ nhõm, suốt cả chặng đường ngồi trên xe hình ảnh xuất hiện nhiều nhất trong đầu tôi là mẹ… Tôi hứa với sư cô là sẽ ôm mẹ thật chặt nói câu: con xin lỗi, xin lỗi mẹ… Mẹ tôi nói trong nước mắt “cảm ơn con”… HƯƠNG SEN |
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