Bài phỏng vấn trên báo Thể Thao Ngày Nay, số ra Thứ tư ngày 23/07/2008
Nội dung:
KENGvnn – Tác giả “Dị bản” – cuốn sách bước ra từ Blog
Trần trụi?
Cô gái “đã sống ¼ thế kỷ” đầu tiên trong cuộc đời, tự tin nói về những vui buồn blog, in ra thành sách, đánh động các phụ huynh và các nhà xã hội học.
Đỗ Thị Thuỳ Linh, chủ nhân của blog KENGvnn vừa phát hành cuốn sách Dị bản, gồm 13 entry chọn lọc từ blog của mình. Dòng chữ “Chỉ đọc khi tuổi đã 18” in ngoài bìa, như một sự kích thích độc giả về những vấn đề nhạy cảm hứa hẹn có trong cuốn sách
2000 bản in như một sự thăm dò thị trường trên mạng bán hết, nhưng chưa đủ để nói lên đây là một “hiện tượng”. Với nhiều đề tài xoay quanh sex, đồng tính, vũ trường, lạc lối, trầm cảm, thủ dâm… kích thích một số đông những bạn trẻ, những blogger (có cả người yêu thích hoặc không đồng cảm) bỏ tiền ra mua cuốn sách. Dị Bản “đóng mác” Văn học mạng nên có thể hiểu là “phát hành không qua kiểm duyệt”. Keng có buổi trao đổi với TTNN theo kiểu trả lời phỏng vấn.
Keng nghĩ sao khi có không ít dư luận trên các diễn đàn mạng, chỉ trích Dị Bản là cuốn sách rẻ tiền, gợi dục, đánh vào thị hiếu của giới trẻ?
Điều Keng vui nhất sau khi phát hành Dị Bản chính là được dư luận công nhận “đánh vào đúng thị hiếu của giới trẻ” . Điều Keng trăn trở nhất là truyện của mình trở nên “rẻ tiền, gợi dục” trong suy nghĩ của một bộ phận người đọc sách. Khi đã quyết định làm một điều gì đó phục vụ công chúng thì ai cũng muốn nó sẽ tốt, sẽ hay, sẽ có một giá trị nhất định. Nhưng mỗi cá nhân lại thường đặt sẵn trong mình một chuẩn mực, một lối suy nghĩ. Keng nghĩ không có một cuốn sách nào đáp ứng được hết tất cả các độc giả. Có thể lối viết của Keng còn yếu, diễn đạt nhanh so với chuẩn mực mà một số độc giả yêu cầu, nên bị chỉ trích là không hề sai. Phản ứng của độc giả dù chê bai thậm tệ đến đâu cũng là cách giúp Keng biết được những điểm non kém của mình để có thể viết tác phẩm tiếp theo tốt hơn, đáp ứng và được yêu thích nhiều hơn bởi độc giả.
Sex hiện là chủ đề được nhiều nhà văn trẻ hướng đến khi định xuất bản một cuốn sách. Keng có nghĩ đó là một tiêu chí dẫn đến thành công, ít nhất là về số lượng tiêu thụ?
Có thể trong tình hình hiện tại, sex là 1 yếu tố làm tăng lượng tiêu thụ. Song nó lại tiềm tàng rất nhiều nguy cơ: bị lên án, bị phản đối, tẩy chay, thậm chí có thể bị cấm phát hành. Đó là một thế bập bênh không cân bằng. Đôi lúc Keng thắc mắc, mình viết về quan hệ giới tính rất nhẹ nhàng lớt phớt sao cứ bị dán nhãn dính chặt vào sex? Hay là đầu óc Keng suy nghĩ quá thoáng và phóng túng? Thực tình Keng muốn mình thành công bởi ý nghĩa gửi trong tập truyện, chứ không phải là vì mô tả sex để gây tò mò cho độc giả.
Keng có nghĩ rằng sex và những vấn đề liên quan đến sex – để viết sao cho nó trở thành một nghệ thuật, một cái đẹp thì khó, còn nếu viết để tạo sự tò mò, kích thích thì ai cũng có thể viết được không?
Anh cho Keng suy nghĩ một chút về vấn đề này… Thực sự thì Keng cũng không hiểu sự khó, dễ khi viết về sex là như thế nào? Nó phụ thuộc đầu óc của người viết, chứ người nào nghĩ sex là thứ bậy bạ thì nó là bậy bạ, người nào nghĩ sex là nghệ thuật thì họ sẽ viết nó ra như một nghệ thuật. Và sự cảm nhận lại thuộc về độc giả. Thỉnh thoảng Keng điểm trong những câu chuyện của mình vài chi tiết liên quan đến sex, dùng những hình ảnh ẩn dụ để viết chứ không hề mô tả, nên Keng nghĩ có thể mình chưa viết được như một nghệ thuật, nhưng trong cảm nhận của cá nhân Keng không hề có sự thô tục hay gợi dục gì cả. Người ta đọc truyện của Keng có lẽ ít ai bị tò mò, kích thích vì sex vì những gì Keng gửi lên trang giấy đã không còn là nhạy cảm nữa.
Nếu có người nói, Sex không chỉ là cách viết, mà là nỗi ám ảnh mang tính tự kỷ trong tâm hồn Keng, Keng sẽ phản ứng ra
sao, nếu đó là một diễn đàn công khai?
Keng không hiểu là sex tồn tại trong tiềm thức của mình, từ khi trở thành một người trưởng thành, thì có bị coi là nỗi ám ảnh tự kỷ hay không. Nhưng rõ ràng, Keng không hề tiếp nhận thụ động những ý nghĩ về sex do một tác động tâm lý bất thường nào cả. Keng hiểu về sex một cách khoa học, và viết theo phương cách an toàn tình dục, vậy sao gọi là ám ảnh tự kỷ. Còn về phản ứng của Keng khi các diễn đàn nói về điều này, Keng sẽ bình thản bỏ qua. Chẳng lẽ lại gân cổ lên cãi, hoặc khóc lóc vì họ động chạm đến mình? Vì những người tranh luận về đề tài này, họ đâu phải là người ở cạnh Keng, có quan hệ giới tính với Keng để biết rằng Keng có bị tự kỷ hay không. Dư luận có quyền bàn những chuyện ngoài lề, Keng có quyền không quan tâm.
Khi xuất bản cuốn sách in những câu chuyện trên blog, Keng định gửi gắm điều gì đến độc giả trong thế giới hoàn toàn riêng tư của mình?
Keng muốn truyện trên blog của mình được in thành sách, để lưu lại như một kỷ niệm, một dấu ấn trong cuộc đời. Hẳn rằng không chỉ có Keng có ý muốn đó mà rất nhiều người cũng muốn viết lại những trải nghiệm trong cuộc đời mình để in thành sách. Khi blog của Keng ở chế độ public thì nó không còn là riêng tư nữa. Keng biết nếu nói những lời hoa mỹ, lớn lao sẽ chẳng được ai tiếp nhận. Nên Keng chỉ muốn gửi gắm duy nhất một điều rằng: “Tôi đang sống, và tôi đã từng sống như thế!”. Keng chỉ là một cuộc đời đang trôi giữa biển người, nếu được người khác nhìn thấy, nghĩa là Keng đã tồn tại.
Dị Bản phải chăng là cách chia sẻ thế giới ảo? Có một góc nhỏ nào từ cuộc sống thật mà Keng định phản ánh trong đó không?
Những gì Keng viết trên blog, là góc nhìn của Keng về cuộc sống thật. Khi Dị bản ra đời, được độc giả công nhận rằng nó rất thật, sống động và còn có vẻ là trần trụi, thì Keng đã không hề cường điệu hay phủ lên đó một tấm màn hư ảo. Cũng có một lượng độc giả phản ánh ý nghĩ, lối sống trong truyện là lệch lạc, sa ngã, bệnh hoạn thì có lẽ vì họ chưa trải qua. Keng đã quan sát thế giới thật và chia sẻ những suy nghĩ của mình trên thế giới ảo và rồi những ghi nhận đó lại quay trở lại cuộc sống dưới hình thức một cuốn sách thì không cần Keng khẳng định, độc giả cũng biết là nó rất gần gũi với cuộc đời thực.
Trong Dị Bản, có chính Keng trong đó không?
Chiêm nghiệm lại cuộc đời giống như cách ta soi gương và nhìn cái bóng của mình. Không có ai soi gương mà nhìn thấy một hình ảnh hoàn toàn khác với dung mạo thực sự của mình. Nên Dị bản với lối viết tự sự, như kiểu nhật ký thực chất không phải ai khác ngoài Keng. Bạn cho rằng Dị bản đẹp đẽ, đáng yêu thì có thể là Keng đã điểm trang một chút khi soi gương, còn nếu bạn thấy nó xấu xí lem luốc thì rất có thể đó là lúc Keng bị suy sụp khủng hoảng vì một điều gì đó từ đời thực.
Những hàng chữ in nghiêng đầu mỗi câu chuyện như: Anh ơi, em từng là cave đấy…, phải chăng là một cách gây sự chú ý?
Keng trình bày sách như giao diện của blog, những hàng chữ đó được thể hiện trong dạng blast, là tâm trạng nhất thời của người viết, hoặc là linh hồn xuyên suốt câu chuyện. Những hàng chữ đó, Keng đặt lên vì nó là mấu chốt của vấn đề trong từng câu chuyện. Thứ nhất để gây chú ý, thứ hai Keng muốn bạn đọc dễ dàng nhận ra tâm điểm câu chuyện nằm ở chỗ nào. Thường thì những hàng chữ đó được trích từ trong truyện.
Dị Bản thành công sau 3 tuần phát hành, giới trẻ – những cư dân mạng đổ xô săn tìm, bạn có nghĩ rằng mình đã tạo nên một hiện tượng?
Nói là một hiện tượng trong xã hội thì Keng không dám nhận, nhưng đó là một hiện tượng trong cuộc sống của Keng. Bởi đây là điều lớn lao nhất Keng đã làm cho chính mình trong 25 năm qua. Việc bạn đọc tìm mua sách của Keng củng cố hơn cho Keng niềm tin vào bản thân mình, để Keng có thể lạc quan hơn về những ý tưởng tiếp theo của mình trong tương lai.
Phải chăng ngay từ đầu bạn đã biết Dị Bản sẽ thu hút sự quan tâm của một bộ phận người đọc, bởi đề tài và cách viết gợi dục?
Keng không cố tình viết gợi dục. Gợi dục là điều Keng muốn tránh. Nhiều người cho Dị bản là cuốn sách gợi dục rẻ tiền vì họ chưa từng đọc. Họ cứ nghĩ rằng với những đề tài nhạy cảm của xã hội hiện tại là sẽ là những cảnh sex trần trụi nên mới đưa ra nhận định đó. Đúng là Keng viết về những đề tài khá nhức nhối trong lòng xã hội, và Keng biết sẽ có một lượng độc giả quan tâm. Nhưng xin khẳng định lại một điều nữa là Keng chưa bao giờ nghĩ truyện của mình có yếu tố gợi dục.
Có thể sau Dị Bản, Keng sẽ cho ra mắt thêm một tác phẩm với chủ đề tương tự, và tiếp tục thành công với số lượng phát hành. Bạn có nghĩ mình sẽ chỉ thành công với đúng chủ đề, cách viết như vậy?
Keng là người thích sự mới lạ, nên Keng nghĩ mình sẽ không chuyên tâm được với một chủ đề. Nếu tiếp tục thành công với chủ đề như Dị Bản ở cuốn thứ 2, thì Keng sẽ vẫn mong muốn được thử mình trong những khía cạnh mới khác. Viết khác đi để thấy mình thay đổi, Keng không muốn mình là con người cũ kỹ, trì trệ và bước mãi trên một lối mòn.
Và chủ đề của nó là gì, bạn có thể bật mí không?
Keng viết rất nhiều trên blog, có cả vài truyện dài, song đều còn đang dang dở. Thời gian tới Keng sẽ hoàn thành những truyện đó, nếu nó được nhà xuất bản quan tâm thì Keng hy vọng cuối năm nay sẽ in cuốn thứ hai. Chủ đề sẽ là thái độ của một công dân về cuộc sống, sau khi đã sống một phần tư thế kỷ.
THIÊN CA
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