
(Tặng những ai mặc cảm mình không còn trinh về mặt sinh học)
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Em còn trinh không?
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Em còn trinh không?
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Em còn trinh không?
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Em còn trinh không?
…
Chưa người đàn ông nào hỏi Nguyên câu đó. Và Nguyên tưởng tượng rằng nếu một ngày nào đó, một gã đàn ông đứng (ngồi, bò, quỳ,…) trước mắt Nguyên thốt ra khỏi cổ họng bốn từ ngắn gọn như thế, thì chắc hành động của Nguyên sẽ là khinh bỉ nhổ một bãi nước bọt xuống đất, trước mặt hắn (chứ không phải vào cái bản mặt đáng ghét của chủ nhân câu hỏi vô duyên, ngớ ngẩn đó đâu nhé!) rồi quay lưng bỏ đi. Kẻ đó không đáng để Nguyên tặng cho 1 lời nói. Đơn giản vì Nguyên không còn là 1 trinh nữ và vì Nguyên có thể thản nhiên nói với bất kỳ ai và không ngượng ngùng: “Tôi mất trinh lâu rồi!”.
Sự lành – rách của 1 cái màng nhỏ xíu, mỏng manh, chẳng ai nhìn thấy,… vậy mà là nguyên nhân dẫn đến bao đau khổ, oan nghiệt trong nhân gian từ xưa đến nay. Nó là cái khiến người ta kỳ vọng, trân trọng, tin tưởng, đáng giá ngàn vàng,… song cũng lại khiến người ta chán nản, tuyệt vọng, nghi kỵ, hờn ghen, và dẫn đến sự tan vỡ của bao nhiêu mối tình. Cũng vô cùng đơn giản, vì người ta quá ích kỷ, tham lam, chỉ muốn riêng mình được sở hữu (chiếm hữu?), mình được ở vị trí độc tôn, duy nhất. Nguyên khinh thường!
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“Em còn trinh không?”
…
Thoảng Nguyên mơ thấy câu hỏi đó vất vưởng trong giấc mơ của mình. Không biết ai hỏi để nhổ cái bãi nước bọt miệt thị theo suy tưởng bấy nay. Có thể đầu óc Nguyên bị ám ảnh….
Tình đầu đến khi Nguyên 20 tuổi non, tò mò, lãng mạn,… và chuyện gì đến cũng phải đến! Nguyên biết được cái màng trinh của mình đã rách từ rất lâu, cũng chẳng biết vì sự cố gì, nghĩ chắc do té ngã và mình đã quên. Người ấy băn khoăn thắc mắc làm gợn lên trong tâm hồn nhạy cảm của Nguyên những tủi hờn. Nguyên lặng lẽ rời khỏi cuộc sống của người ấy. “Chia tay? Ừ thì chia tay! Tình đầu là lẽ sống, nhưng không phải là sự sống!”
Nguyên không biết những người con gái khác có giống mình? Và cũng không biết những người đàn ông khác suy nghĩ có giống người yêu đầu của Nguyên. Chỉ là sự tự ti, thất vọng đã gây chiến tranh với sự lạc quan, yêu đời trong Nguyên. Một nửa nhân loại trở nên thấp hèn trong mắt Nguyên: Ti tiện, ngu ngốc, tầm nhìn hạn hẹp. Lòng cao thượng chỉ tồn tại trong thơ!
Nhưng rồi Nguyên vẫn trải qua vài mối tình, đàn ông theo đuổi quá nhiều và đôi lúc Nguyên ngã lòng ban ơn cho một tấm lòng si dại. Chẳng tình yêu nào là đẹp. Chỉ phô bày ra những toan tính vị kỷ, chỉ là những đua tranh ngớ ngẩn, hoặc giản đơn nghĩ rằng mình đổi gió. Không yêu là không yêu! Tình thực sự không tồn tại.
Người đàn ông cuối cùng ra đi, cũng là người duy nhất Nguyên nhớ tới. Nguyên đã mong được sở hữu, hoặc dù chỉ là cái bóng của người đó, nhưng anh vẫn biến mất khỏi cuộc đời Nguyên. Tin nhắn cuối cùng của anh, Nguyên lưu trong điện thoại, ngày ngày vài lần mở ra đọc. Nghĩ rằng ở đâu đó, anh giống như trong tin nhắn, nói rằng “…rất nhớ em”. Mặc cho, chưa bao giờ Nguyên khẳng định mình yêu anh thật sự. Anh là người đàn ông tốt, chưa bao giờ nhìn nhận cái màng mỏng manh lành hay rách là rào cản ngăn trở sự đồng điệu của 2 tâm hồn, khiến Nguyên không muốn mình đánh mất anh. Lòng Nguyên vẫn để ngỏ chờ anh. Vì chưa bao giờ anh nói chia tay Nguyên cả, anh chỉ lặng lẽ ra đi thôi…
Hết hạ, thu sang, man mác buồn. Nguyên vơ vẩn trong những ý niệm quá khứ, hiện tại gửi vào gió mây, vào lá vàng bay bay,… Ai cũng nói Nguyên sống như người trong mộng, không thực tế chút nào. Trước đây Nguyên cũng đã từng là một cô gái rất thực dụng. Đã qua rồi – Nguyên khác xưa vì có anh đến trong đời! Nhưng Nguyên đang đơn độc đi vào giấc mơ của chính mình. Không có anh.
“ K hi gặp được người mà bạn thật sự yêu thương, hãy nỗ lực giành lấy cơ hội trở thành một nửa của người ấy. Bởi nếu người ấy ra đi, tất cả sẽ không còn kịp nữa”… Nguyên chưa bao giờ nỗ lực, hoặc giả khi anh rời khỏi vòng tay, Nguyên mới biết đó thực sự là người mình yêu thương, nên Nguyên đã không nhìn thấy cơ hội để nắm giữ, đã không còn kịp nữa… Nguyên cần thời gian giúp lắng lại những nuối tiếc.
“ S ố riêng đang gọi…” Nguyên bắt máy hững hờ, giọng nói ấm áp thân thuộc của anh vang lên, anh đang công tác ở Trung Quốc, nhớ Nguyên vô cùng, muốn Nguyên bay qua với anh. Nguyên thoắt nhõng nhẽo rồi lại vui đùa, không qua đó được, Nguyên còn bận rộn với công việc và cuộc sống của mình nữa, nhưng Nguyên sẽ chờ anh về, dù cho anh nói cũng không biết khi nào mới kết thúc chuyến công tác. Nguyên nói với anh: nhất định Nguyên phải chờ anh về bằng được, để còn xử tội anh nữa, vì dám rời xa Nguyên một thời gian dài như thế mà không thèm xin phép 1 câu. Chắc chắn Nguyên đợi và chắc chắn anh sẽ về…
Tự nhiên thấy tâm hồn trẻ lại, Nguyên mở nhạc thật to bài “Still loving you” của Scorpions, không phải vì nỗi nhớ anh quay quắt như trước đây nữa, mà vì Nguyên thấy vui, đã từng nghe bài hát này từ anh…
“Em mất trinh lâu rồi! Nhưng trái tim em vẫn còn trinh nguyên vì nó chỉ chờ đợi anh, nó đang trôi về phía anh…”
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TP.HCM, tháng 9/2007
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Khi tôi viết câu chuyện này trên một trang blog Việt, nhiều người đã không dám comment. Họ chat với tôi và e dè lắc đầu rằng mình chẳng biết phải nói như thế nào, chỉ cảm thấy sốc vì tôi dám viết táo bạo như thế!
*¨`blue_sky…
“chỉ vì lòng ích kỉ mà đánh mất đi tình yêu của mình có đáng ko ?”
bài entry hay và ý nghĩa lắm chi keng ^^
Đá_Tên…
Đẹp lắm! Quả thật tâm hồn còn trinh nguyên:)
Em chẳng biết nói gì . Cho chị 10 điểm về lòng dũng cảm đối diện với sự thật
yesterday
Thích lối viết thẳng thắn như đập vào mặt người khác của Keng, nó có gì là lạ và rất riêng. Thích đọc blog của em.
Winter
Công nhận, xứng đáng đc xếp vào hàng ngũ những câu hỏi nhảm nhí và vô duyên nhất thời đại.
mưa
ngưỡng mộ chị wa’ đi thui, chị thật là mạnh mẽ. Chị ơi! Ước j` em có đc một chút xíu mạnh mẽ của chị.
NoBiTa
NoBi rất thix cách nói của Keng. Cho NoBi nói thẳng, những người đàn ông coi trọng việc đó nên chia tay là phải,vì người đó ko thật sự yêu Keng.
TheRock
+ đọc tựa cũng hơi giật mình haaaaaaaa
+ đọc rồi……….cũng không biết nói gì (vì cũng không có gì để nói….)
lovekiller
Xã hội bây giờ hiện đại ngày
càng phát triển rồi đâu còn phong kiến như người xưa đâu.Quan trọng là tấm lòng con người hay trái tim người đó có dành hết tình cảm cho mình ko mới là quan trọng.Sống như o nước ngoài đấy người ta có quang trọng chuyện đó đâu.Thậm chí người ta sống chung với nhau như vợ chồng mà ko đăng ký kết hôn là chuyện bình thường.Thích thì mình đến với nhau ko thích thì chia tay thế thôi.Ko ràng buộc gì cả.
cheryl
Tuy lời lẽ và suy nghĩ hơi bị gây sốc nhưng mình thích những suy nghĩ có phần táo bạo đó của keng
Chiều…
Bài viết thẳng thắn lắm! Đọc cho người ta nhiều cảm xúc mạnh …
Louis Vang
bài Blog hay wá! tình yêu là sự chấp nhận… đó ko fải là 1 cau hỏi…mà là su chi trích của sự ích kỹ!
MÁU LẠNH
Anh thích cái Trái Tim Trinh Nguyên của em. Vẫn nguyên vẹn và đầy lòng yêu thương.
Đợi anh ấy về em nhé . Hạnh phúc lắm đấy.
Vãi đái những thằng đàn ông dái như dái chó bạ đâu cũng ngủ mà lại yêu cầu người con gái của mình lại nguyên vẹn.
Cảm ơn chữ Trinh trong bài viết của em
ckandzy
^_^hổng bít nói gì nữa. chị thật mạnh mẽ và cứng rắn
LuLu
Thích nhất cái câu: trái tim em vẫn còn trinh nguyên vì nó chỉ chờ đợi anh, nó đang trôi về phía anh…”
Có nghĩa gì nếu còn trinh mà trái tim ko còn trinh cho 1 người mà nó vẫn luôn mồm gọi là yêu nhưng lại chứa đựng hình bóng của 1 người khác!
CrazyArabe
mình pó tay thôi ! xin lỗi !
hoanghonmaul…
bai nay co the noi dung nhung gi xa hoi hien nay ban khoan do nhung cung ko the phu nhan dieu do phai ko
nhugn du sao hay la chinh minh dung wa bi wan vi cuoc song con nhieu thu de biet va kham pha
Heo k0n
Văn chương quá thuyết phục…
hoangdecoich…
Can đảm giam nói lên sự thật.



258 Bình luận
Câu chuyện hay
có ý nghĩa !
cái tựa sốc wá nhe, câu PV hả cưng, com men nè! rùi đọc sau,heheh
cái tựa sốc wá nhe, câu PV hả cưng, com men nè! rùi đọc sau,heheh
cái tựa sốc wá nhe, câu PV hả cưng, com men nè! rùi đọc sau,heheh
Hẻm chịu đọc mà xì pam là seo?
Đó chỉ là sự tưởng tượng của Nguyên thôi mà! Sao mọi người bức súc thế! Điều đó chẳng ý nghĩa gì khi tình cảm xuất phát từ con tim, và nó cũng được đáp lại bằng con tim!
Keng làm nhà văn đi Keng ui.
đây là bạn vít ah hay đấy
còn trinh thì tốt hơn
còn trinh thì tốt hơn
“Em mất trinh lâu rồi! Nhưng trái tim em vẫn còn trinh nguyên vì nó chỉ chờ đợi anh, nó đang trôi về phía anh…” <= Thích nhất câu này!
ý nghĩa . cảm ơn câu chuỵện của chị ^^
Đàn ông, nói thì dễ, nhưng những người thực sự chấp nhận lấy vợ… không còn … rất ít. Có lẽ những con người của thế hệ càng về sau càng dễ chấp nhận hơn…
Hay
hay a. co nick chat kO? ae tu van nhau ti’
)
Chào bạn, xin phép bạn mình đăng entry này lên Web Điểm Tin Blog nhé
http://www.diemtinblog.com
Tôi ko đồng tình với ý kiến “còn trinh tốt hơn” of 1 trong 16 comts này…trinh nó đánh giá 100% con người àh ?
Thiển năng wá…!!!
Đàn ông, có thể họ cảm thấy ghen tuông, tức giận khi biết người yêu, người vợ mình như thế. Nhưng nếu đó là một ngời mà họ thất sự yêu thương thì họ sẽ sẵn sàng chấp nhận mà thôi
Bất công cho con gái , khi yêu ng ta nghĩ rằng sẽ chơi sẻ và cho nhau tất cả và ko hề nghĩ ngợi điều j . Điều đó là cả 2 phía đều nghĩ như thế . và rồi người con gái lại là ng chịu thiệt thòi .
Rất may mình là con trai ^^
Vì sao trong mọi cuộc tình người con gái luôn là kẻ hứng chịu
Rất may , người ấy của em yêu em và chưa bao giờ nghĩ về chuyện trinh tiết
Cảm ơn chị rất nhiều
bai` viet cua? chi hay lam’………nhung ma` em ko chac’ la tat ca? nhung thang dan` ong hoi? cau do’ lai. la` nhung ten khon’ dang’ phi? nho?………..
Cứ thoải mái ko thjk sao,cớ gì để cái màng ấy cản trở trong lúc hưng phấn nhỉ?Đàn bà ko trinh tốt hơn vì họ giỏi hơn
mình rất thích cách viết của Keng.
Vãi lúa
Tự nghĩ thằng đàn ông nào mà đi hỏi người bạn gái, người yêu của mình câu hỏi đó thì thằng đàn ông đó cũng chẳng đáng giá bao nhiêu…bởi cái hắn ta quan tâm chỉ là cái trinh tiết chứ nào phải là con người, tâm hồn và phẩm chất của người con gái !!!
Câu chuyện hay !! Lâu lâu mới thấy 1 kết cuộc có hậu cho nhân vật nữ trong truyện của Keng ^^
… if…
… if…
duoc ban gioi thieu ve blog cua Keng, hnay minh moi chinh thuc doc va doc met mai het 3,4 tieng dho luon. Ban co phong cach lam!!! Song that,cam nhan that va dam doi dien su that,…Ban lanh lam !!! Minh nguong mo ban! Minh se mua Di ban de doc, thuong thuc cach viet van cua ban va nghien ngam ve su that cua cuoc song nay. Chuc ban tiep tuc thanh cong va vui khoe nhieu
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