Bài đăng trên Tuổi Trẻ chủ nhật 3/10/2010 (viết chung với Công Nhật), click view original post
TT – Người hoàn hảo đối với ai đó đôi khi không phải là người trong mộng hiện tại, mà là người bạn cách xa nửa vòng trái đất, hoặc có thể là một bóng hình của miền ký ức.
| Người đi bên cạnh ta đến suốt cuộc đời không hẳn là người hoàn hảo nhất được ta nhắc đến (ảnh minh họa) – Ảnh: Gia Tiến |
Và có người (nhất là cánh mày râu) đã không giấu được sự trăn trở về điều này…
Nàng: không hẳn là người yêu
Khi nhận được câu hỏi về chàng trai tốt nhất hiện hữu trong suy nghĩ của mình, Minh Phương (27 tuổi, TP.HCM) kể: “Đó là người bạn tôi không gặp mặt hai năm rồi, tuy nhiên vẫn liên lạc qua email. Chúng tôi biết nhau trên mạng ba năm trước. Cậu ấy khiến tôi thật sự kinh ngạc vì sự hiểu biết vượt cả tuổi tác. Trước đó, tôi rất ương bướng không nghe lời ai, nhưng kết bạn với cậu ấy tôi mới nhận ra đó là người có khả năng làm tôi thay đổi. Cậu ấy “uyên bác” như thế nhưng lại kém tôi hai tuổi. Mỗi khi đối đầu với rắc rối của cuộc sống, tôi luôn tìm hướng giải quyết từ cậu ấy”.
Và “cậu bạn thân” cũng là chàng trai tốt nhất đối với Ngọc Trâm (24 tuổi, Hà Nội): “Chúng tôi ở trên cùng một con phố, là bạn học suốt thời phổ thông. Sau này lên đại học chúng tôi đi theo những con đường khác nhau, tuy vậy tình bạn vẫn không hề thay đổi. Khi cậu ấy có người yêu, tôi là người đầu tiên biết mặt; khi tôi thất tình, cậu ấy là người duy nhất đem lại cho tôi niềm vui… Nhưng chưa bao giờ cả hai nghĩ sẽ yêu nhau. Đơn giản vì tình bạn giữa chúng tôi tuyệt vời đến mức không còn mong muốn thêm gì nữa”.
Còn đối với Thu Hằng (21 tuổi) thì chàng trai tốt nhất chính là người anh họ “bắn đại bác mới tới được” của mình: “Tôi có rất nhiều họ hàng ở Sài Gòn, nhưng anh ấy là người duy nhất tôi thấy gần gũi, thân thiết. Đối với tôi, anh ấy chân thành như người bạn và tận tâm như người thầy. Dù là anh họ nhưng tình cảm giữa chúng tôi không khác ruột thịt”.
Không quá ngạc nhiên khi chàng trai tốt nhất trong suy nghĩ của nhiều cô gái lại không phải là người yêu. Có thể những chàng trai khi trở thành người nuôi dưỡng tình bạn, tình anh em… lại dễ dàng hơn việc gìn giữ cho một tình yêu không nhuốm màu đau khổ, tổn thương và tan vỡ.
Chàng: tình đầu khó phai
Khi con tim của đấng mày râu lần đầu bị loạn nhịp, hình ảnh “kẻ đáng ghét” gây nên triệu chứng trên, trớ trêu thay, thường nghiễm nhiên trở thành hoàn hảo và khó phai nhòa nhất trong họ.
“Dẫu nhiều người nói tình đầu là “tình đau”, tôi vẫn tin rằng người con gái đầu tiên bước vào cuộc đời mình là tốt nhất – dẫu cả hai chưa từng là gì của nhau”, Thiên Bảo (29 tuổi, TP.HCM) bộc bạch.
Đây cũng là mẫu số chung của nhiều gã trai từng ít nhiều bước vào chốn tình trường khi trò chuyện với người viết.
Anh Ngọc Trường (35 tuổi, Q.Bình Thạnh, TP.HCM) kể về ngày xưa của mình với giọng điệu “ngọt ngào” hơn hẳn so với vẻ nam tính thường ngày: “Tôi là dân kỹ thuật nên tính tình khô khan, lại học và làm việc trong môi trường toàn nam giới nên ít cơ hội rung động trước cái đẹp. Chính vì thế, dù lên thành phố đã lâu nhưng tôi vẫn không quên những kỷ niệm với cô bé hàng xóm tóc dài, thường cùng đạp xe, trò chuyện mỗi khi đi học”.
Tuy đã lập gia đình nhưng hình ảnh “người xưa” luôn đẹp và tốt nhất trong suy nghĩ của anh Ngọc Trường, dẫu như lời anh “tôi thừa biết đây là suy nghĩ không công bằng cho vợ, chưa kể việc chắc gì người con gái năm xưa giờ gặp lại có thể tốt bằng vợ hiện tại của mình”.
Không ít đấng mày râu không giấu được sự dằn vặt, trăn trở về việc “người hoàn hảo” trong suy nghĩ lại không phải là vợ hay người yêu hiện tại của mình.
“Việc một người con gái khác (không phải vợ hay người yêu) chiếm lấy sự tôn thờ của mình không có gì sai trái, nhưng tôi luôn thấy có lỗi mỗi khi nghĩ đến bóng hồng hoàn hảo của mình”, anh Thiên Phú – một giảng viên đại học – không giấu được tiếng thở dài khi thú nhận.
Cảm giác tự ti khi yêu cũng khiến không ít gã khờ thẫn thờ mỗi khi nhớ lại người con gái tốt nhất mình từng gặp. “Con trai vốn ít biết ăn nói, lại thường thiếu kiên nhẫn để theo đuổi những điều mình thật sự thích. Mà những cô gái tốt đều có nhiều vệ tinh vây quanh nên kẻ chiến thắng thường là kẻ tự tin hoặc kiên trì nhất. Đó là lý do tôi vẫn còn nhớ về người xưa dẫu người yêu hiện tại của tôi cũng đủ lý tưởng”, anh Hoàng Long (20 tuổi) ngậm ngùi.
Thế mới biết, dẫu đôi khi “tơ hồng” đã kết dính cuộc đời của hai nửa trái tim lại với nhau thì vẫn còn đó nhiều nỗi niềm, hoài vọng về một bóng hình khác – người mà ta luôn nhớ về với những hình ảnh, suy nghĩ tốt đẹp nhất.
Dẫu sao cũng mong đó chỉ là nốt nhạc đẹp để điểm thêm góc kỷ niệm, chứ không phải là điều khiến hạnh phúc lứa đôi đang có trở nên chênh chao…
VINCENT PHẠM – THÙY LINH
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Người yêu/vợ hiện tại có phải là người để lại ấn tượng, hình ảnh tốt nhất trong bạn từ trước tới nay?:
Phải
Không phải
Không chắc
Chưa bao giờ nghĩ đến điều này
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