Có một cô nàng đã khá cao tuổi, đang muốn lấy chồng. Xung quanh cũng nhiều người ve vãn, ong bướm lả lơi. Dưng mà lựa chọn thiệt khó quá đi! Và cô ấy đã làm một bản yêu cầu hình mẫu chồng tương lai và công pố rộng rãi cho toàn dân thiên hạ:
PHẢI LẤY NGƯỜI NHƯ SAU…
I. Đời sống
Không được phép vắng mặt trong những sự kiện trọng đại của cuộc đời:
Ngày… cưới
Ngày vợ thụ thai (ặc ặc)
Ngày vợ đẻ con
Người thân qua đời
Vợ ốm thập tử nhất sinh (nếu có)
Không được quên các ngày kỉ niệm sau, chứng minh trí nhớ của mình cụ thể bằng… quà tặng:
Ngày yêu nhau (tính từ lúc tỏ tình)
Ngày cuới nhau
Ngày SN vợ
Ngày phát hiện vợ có bầu
Ngày SN con
Các ngày khác vợ sẽ chủ động… nhắc
Về nhà ăn cơm, không lê la hàng quán (kể cả trường hợp vợ lười không nấu cơm, thậm chí là không về, chồng cũng phải về ăn… mì tôm)
Không hút thuốc (hại vợ, hại con, suy tinh trùng )
Được quyền say rượu, nhưng ko quá 3 lần/năm (dự trù cho Snhật, tết, giỗ)
Giữ gìn nhà cửa gọn gàng, vệ sinh cá nhân sạch sẽ.
Vợ sẽ chịu trách nhiệm chính trong các vấn đề nội trợ. Nhưng chồng sẽ phải phụ giúp (đèo đi chợ, nhặt rau/vo gạo, ôm vợ lúc vợ rửa bát. Chú ý: Lúc nấu cơm thì đừng ôm, nóng lắm!)
Trường hợp xảy ra xung đột giữa vợ và gia đình chồng, chồng phải là người đứng ra làm trọng tài. Ko được để đôi bên ấm ức vì nhau.
Thường xuyên bổ túc văn hoá dưới những hình thức sau: đi nghe nhạc, xem film, du lịch…
II. Kinh tế
Kiếm nhiều tiền hơn vợ
Chi tiêu tiết kiệm (để vợ còn hoang phí)
III. Tình cảm
Khi vợ khóc phải dỗ dành. Nhường vợ khi cãi nhau. Chủ động làm lành.
Bày tỏ tình cảm với vợ cả bằng lời nói và hành động. Tần suất càng cao càng tốt.
Không quên làm những điều lãng mạn (kể cả khi đã già)
Không nói dối.
KHÔNG NGOẠI TÌNH. (Nếu trót ngoại tình thì phải báo cáo lại với vợ. Để còn ly hôn. Nhất quyết không khoan nhượng!!!)
***
Tạm thời như thế đã. Nếu có gì mới lạ hay ho sẽ bổ sung sau. Dưng mà hổng biết kiếm cái NGƯỜI NHƯ SAU đó khó khăn cỡ nào? Bởi zì tin chắc rằng không ít các đấng TU MI NAM TỬ đọc xong và soi gương sẽ tự nhiên IM THIN THÍT VÀ LẶN MẤT TĂM cho coi! Chờ đến muôn kiếp nun… huhu. Các đồng chí ĐỜN ÔNG nào đáp ứng được nhu cầu trên, vui lòng liên hệ nhé! Đảm bảo sẽ kiếm được 1 cô vợ rất ổn. Trên cả TUYỆT VỜI là TUYỆT VỌNG nun đóa! Hĩ hĩ
340 Bình luận
hi hi, cho tớ copy bài này nhe, tớ sẽ ghi là sưu tầm của Keng, dc hem bạn? Cho tớ bít, để tớ bit mừ copy nhe ^^. Thx nhiu`
ack lắm tiêu chí thế ^^
hic,,,nghe thấy vợ là đã chán rồi Hzzz, tự do muôn năm ^^
hay!
kiểu này thì cũng hơi khó,mà nếu có thì chưa chắc đã hạnh phúc đc đâu nhỉ,sống với một người hoàn hảo thế này thì làm sao mà sống ^^
Vậy là tui…. Hix hix, mất cửa òi…. hix hix! Bớt lại chút đi! giá cao quá! Thiệt là… dại khờ…. nà!
Trên cả “thư giãn”, bùn cười quá
Trên cả “thư giãn”, bùn cười quá
Oái ! Tính sắm một cô dzìa câu Sấu cho dzui mà giá cao quá làm sao đây trời ! Thui mình thuộc thành phần vô giá (hok có giá íz mờ)thì chắc là híc híc…
t đáp ứng đc nhưng rất tiếc t lạp tìm đc người ít khó tính hơn rùi.tiếc cho bạn.hehe.
hehe. vậy mới là chồng. ko bỏ công!
hết đường lấy vợ
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